Saturday, July 3, 2010

I had desire in my heart and that desire was taken from me

Naked kids play around burning dung hills, Men piss in my direction showing me the anatomy of a man, young women on their knees cleaning the cow dung around their mound with their bare hands, young men gathered under a tree playing dominos, Women slam their faces to the ground to scream out their pain from their lost one, small calf’s graze in the fields, dogs bark and grow to gather to fight in their own dispute of their laws as if demon possessed, a young cattle camp man struts by proud with his cattle camp dress that stops at his high thigh and a wind breaker jacket tied half way around his body just to cover his Ak on the side of his left shoulder.

Sites so familiar to my eyes here in cattle camp, sites that stop the eyes of us State dwellers, but my eyes just keep going and no warning is felt. But this day I saw a site that stopped my eyes, turned my head, and gave warning.

Second week at cattle camp:

Third Day: morning

I awake in the cattle camp to find out Zach’s spear has been stolen out of the truck that he bought just yesterday. I come out the tent and check the truck to make sure nothing else is stolen. I sigh and find that nothing else was stolen except the spear.

So I feel weird this morning, and I decide to sit in the back seatt of the truck to reminisce of the spectacular day God blessed us with yesterday!

Yesterday in our first training of God’s word we had all young men! This hardly happens in America let alone Sudan! We pored out the gospel to them as Shad rack translated.

The young men where into the training very seriously. I was praying and praising God the whole time through training. It was a sight to see all these young cattle camp men come to our tent by their own means, we did not even have to call them this time, just a butch of them came and sat down and said we are ready, teach us now!

LOL! It was all God! We did nothing!

The training ended with us all excited to meet the next day and even more for the team and I because we where going to give them a butch of Jesus stories and then show the Jesus film in their language the next night!

So back to me in the car, I am pretty pumped about today, but I feel weird I don’t know why maybe it’s the stealing, but that comes with the territory. I mean, I should know that by now!

Any way Justin Mayom comes and joins me in the back seat of the truck and we talk in very laid-back manner. Then even Shad rack joins us in the truck as he is in the front seat. We talk and joke together, and then soon Daniel Mapar even joins us in the truck as he seats in the drivers seat. We start to have a fly killing competition because there are so many flies in the car for some reason.

We all joke a laugh about things and then some cattle keepers join us at the truck windows. I look at the tall Dinka man lean over in the window to Shad rack as they talk, then suddenly a medium size, well built young Dinka man runs from a distances out of the cattle camp as if a solider from the movie 300.

He has an Ak in his right hand.

That right there is it. My eyes stopped, my head followed, and my warning went off. No fear but new site, a site that even the Dinka men could not ignore. The young man’s face was full of passion, or invisible tears maybe. I could see them but no tears only a need to feel his emptiness with something. The men standing by our vehicle yell in Dinka “Akunu! Weka! Weka! Weka!” Then they go running after him. Then more Dinka men come running out of the cattle camp behind him, some with Ak’s as well. We all step out of the truck, two Dinka men in the distances fight over a Ak, not for the gun, but as if trying to stop one from running, or trying to give some advice to one who wants to do something foolish.

The Dinka men crowd in together before the bush, then I hear wailing, but this is a different type of wailing, not a lost wailing or death, but a girl friends cry is how I heard it, it was a group of young girl crying. Then suddenly the crowd of Dinka men disappears into the bush with their Ak’s as if warriors charging ready to never return.

We are all left in silence wondering what just happen.

Shad rack talks to the leader and we find out an o so common story here in South Sudan. A solider killed a Cattle keeper. Now the cattle keeper must take revenge. We stayed and prayed with the cattle camp

that peace comes there, that they follow the ways of Christ and forgive,

No more killings come this cattle camp,

Their safety,

And that God’s glory and ministry is not put to stop by this

But His power is shown to them and that they may see Him as their God and live by His way and follow Christ.

Please pray for these things as we are trying to reach these people.

After we prayed we got news that that cattle keepers had already took revenge. We where told to pack up and leave before the military comes, and the camp was getting ready to move. So we did like cowards we had to leave.

Where they move? We don’t know, probably some where deep away from people.

Pray God shows us clearly what to do, cause right now I’m lost.

Pray for the cattle camp please, that they are safe and no harm comes to them.

Pray that we find then again to continue to teach God’s word.

Thank you.

P.S: Well it has been about three days since I wrote this and nothing big has happen to the cattle camp, all is normal and I here they did not even move. It’s almost like we have been thrown a fake punch and we all jumped back and duck to soon.

So Pray for us because we are going back this Monday to continue.

Thank you

Slave to Him, Jermaine

Drink up!

Rain hits my skin in the cold storm like needles. The lightning strikes and the wind blows against my way. I press forward but then you strike me in my gut. I fall to the mud as I curl up to the ground from the pain you just caused. I try to rise but you steal my rings, money, jewelry, and some entertainment. I don’t fight back for if He let you take those things I see now I even can take it further to see that they are worldly things I don’t need. I rise but you shatter my path and I fall into a deep dark pit of your creativity. I look up and see you unzip your pans and piss on my head. I lie back down in a pool of your piss and realize that you really don’t like me, in fact I think you hate me.

After five days at cattle camp we left there on cloud nine singing praises to God! For they seek God and wanted His presences with in their cattle camp. We had to make are we back to Rumbek for more supplies, which I dreaded because as you know from my earlier blogs satan loves to attack me there. Which in this case I was right.

Rumbek was supposed to be a day trip and then head back to Akot to get ready to go back to cattle camp. Not long in Rumbek before I was struck, I came to find all my belongings; basically my whole life was stolen from me…LOL!

You see I live in my backpack. I have been living this way for a long time now, its just how I had to live out here. I just move too much to settle somewhere. Well that back pack I was living in was stolen. So that made us have to stay in Rumbek another day so I could file a police report…lol! A police report out here …..yeah right what a joke!

Well any way the Lord had my back and I was blessed with what I got back, like the important stuff like pass port and travel permit, stuff like that, you know.

Yeah! I’m stupid and with Him I would be nothing, believe me I know!

So as we get ready to go the truck breaks down again. LoL! I just laugh. Cause it’s just funny how things happen.

As I stood beside the truck waiting for the mechanic under the truck, it began to rain and you know I just let it rain on me. Everyone ran to get out of the rain, but I just stood there. Water swallowed my broken sandals, and I looked down to the ground and just let the piss flow down. You just keep coming, I might not be fifth teen or ware a mask but I will drink your piss.

You know why cause I don’t deserve better, I am a slave to Christ. I brag in these small sufferings, I take them as honor to do for my master! So the more you do to me I just love cause it is for Him who died for me, He who I can never pay back. So with each little blow you give me is just a inch of nothing for what I try to do for my master! So I will drink that piss up!

My master gives me a white light of rope to crawl out of the pit and move on. I smile because my body just became stronger from the climb out of the pit. Lol! My master knows what he is doing!

I was cold and shook in the rain soaked from head to toe, and I could tell the team thought I was just crazy. I came out of my mind and the truck was fixed, and we got back on the road went back to Akot for cattle camp, to train and disciple them for Christ!

Praise You My God! It is an honor to suffer for you I am not worthy but you let me drink his piss for you Lord. Thank you, for I am but a dog who eats from your children's crumbs.

By Their own means!

The night of are arrival in cattle camp one of the leaders and some young aparaks (young men) sat with us and Abraham.

 

As Abraham translated…

I tell you what, in the dark night of Sudan I cannot remember what they where talking about or how I got to it, But I just remember I just started laying out the gospel to them, from creation to Christ. Then this young boy said “so how do we keep a relationship with God from down here?”

My heart jumped as I heard those words!

You know where I went! I went straight to Jesus!

 

Then boy kept asking great questions! “What about are sin’s and the bad things we do?” “What are some bad things God does not want us to do?” These questions where right on time! I was praising God so much!

 

Then another older man said “You see, these are the things we need to know so we can do right by God, but we have know one to teach us and train us, we want to learn these things.”

I said “this what we came to do!”

The he said “You can come and teach these things but if you just teach and leave, we will just forget your teachings. We need some one you can train within our cattle camp to teach us when you leave.”

 

Hot dang it, I just about dropped my mouth when he said this! I said that is exactly what we want too! It has to be the people of the land who do this, but we got nobody willing to do it!

As I had Abraham translate this…

So we talked more agreeing with each other that night and prayed God would reveal to us what to do to get the cattle camp some permanent training in His word.

 

The next day CAP Sudan training went great! We had a lot of young men sit down and listen. Then later that evening we had the four leaders of the cattle camp and some others sitting and talking with us.

So out of nowhere on of the leaders says bring us some history (story from God’s word). So we did. Then right after the story one of the leaders says “You see this is good, but we have no one to teach us these things of God’s word. You come here and you tell us these stories but we just forget them. “

Then he said this….

“You see the villages and cattle camp is very different. In the villages they have their people and their time on Sunday they can go to church. But here in cattle camp we don’t do those things. When Sunday comes we have no church like the villages, we need a church here like the villages so we can learn more about God’s word.”

 

MY God, my God…I just about fell on my knees right there to praise God.

Abraham just translated all this to my ears….

So we began to talk about them to chose a leader for the church so we can train them!

Justin, the team, and I began to talk about just staying at this one cattle camp to pour our heart and soul into training just this one. Because our original plan was to take CAP Sudan teachings to different cattle camps around the area. But we all agreed to just keep coming back to this cattle camp to train and disciple the men.

 

I was so pumped! These young cattle keepers actually wanted training, actually wanted a church in their cattle camp by their own means!

Praise you my Lord!

This crazy!

Please start praying NOW!

 

 

They Denied me.

 

Justin Macar, Justin Mayom, Daniel, Mapar Makala gar, and Zachariah Marial is my new team to come with me to bring the Gospel to the unreached of the Cattle Camps. God has placed it on my heart for maybe if possible that a church can be planted with in the cattle camp as they move in the bush! Beyond impossible but I want to see what God will do. If they call on God to be there who can deny them, their unreached people just like anyone else, the heart of the Dinka people, their pride and warriors. But before all that I was met with a broken truck to settle to my on doings, which I did not get fix by the arrival of the team. We where stranded in Rumbek for some days, but finally old buddy awoke and we were on the road to Akot to find a Cattle Camp.

 

Now normally I would have had the cattle camp picked out and set up for the team but I had no time at all coming from back to back to back teams so they got to see all my reckless ground work. I did not even have translators! I am Lc’s nightmare.

We get to Akot and first thing I want is what? Translators! Yes correct!

But I was stop by….ummm… well I will just let you hear some of this conversation.

 

1st day

Me: So Abraham did the team explain what we plan to do out here? (I explain this to him many times already)

 

Abraham: Ah…yes to go to cattle camp…

 

(Silence)

 

Me: ummm….yes! we want to go to cattle camp to do CAP Sudan teachings there and maybe…

 

Abraham : How long do you stay?

 

Me: Ummmm…five days at a time.

 

Abraham: How many translators do you need?

 

Me: two translators would be great.

 

Abraham: I think it will be too difficult to get translators.

 

(Silences)

 

Abraham: Ok I will be going now thanks you! (He gets up and leaves)

(End of convo.)

 

I did not let that stop me, Just another tool of the devil to get me down. I just kept faith and kept going! Not knowing if I was to have a translator or not I got my best friend Peter to go with us to find a cattle camp. It had to be one of the easiest cattle camps I ever found in the bush! (Can’t tell), is the name of the cattle camp. They welcomed us with such open arms that day, and with complete stupidity and faith I planned the day of our coming to stay with them. I told them we would come Friday and stay five days.

 

3rd day

 

( A rainy day in Sudan, I am call by them to talk about cattle camp. I walk over to the center where I see Shad rack, Isaac , and Abraham all sitting in chairs of a circle formation, can’t be good and it was not. I will give you just some bits and pieces of the convo.)

 

Abraham: I have other things to do here, I can’t be bothered with your work separate from the church! Next time you get another translator then us, we have work to do, You get another translator separate from us!

 

Me: Yeah Abraham I know you guys are busy but this is why you got the training of CAP Sudan, there is no other translator. I mean I’m not going to make you go I’m not no big person, but I need some one who wants to go, and I do need you guys.

 

Shad rack: My friend, I cannot do it on the weekend I have to build my fence.

(That is one piece of the convo, like that, here is another)

 

Me: Yeah but I just think that the cattle camp is so unreached cause know one wants to go out there and just maybe if we stay out there with them, God willing a Church may be planted with in the cattle camp! I mean that would be….

 

(Abraham, and Shad rack laugh.)

Shad rack: OOO! My friend!

 

Abraham: No there is no way that can happen.

 

Me: You don’t think a church can be planted in cattle camp?

 

Abraham: No!, There is no way it can happen. You call them for teaching and they will not come.

 

Shad rack: Impossible my friend, they are cattle keepers they wont take it serious.

 

(Abraham, Shad rack and Isaac all agree)

 

(Silence)

 

Me: …..well…ummm…..Ok.

 

(End of convo.)

 

Sucks right! I mean these guys are my heroes, I look up to them, I love them! And for them to come at me like that! The cattle camp is their people their land….Whatever I aint bout to let know one stop me from giving the gospel to some unreached people who want it! So I don’t give a cow’s flip tail if they want to go or not but somebody gone translate, and they can go their mad to I don’t care about that either! I just do the talking, you just translate and look salty! But God is going to show you and crack that hard heart and crumble that enormous pride too! See if I car if you like me you know I don’t! Tell me what God can do and can’t do!

Despite their unwillingness to go to cattle camp and their huge negativity of the thought of a church in cattle camp, Abraham agreed to go one week and Shad rack agreed to come the next week Monday through Friday. But it really was sad to see these strong men of God just to be used by Satan to hold me down not to go, and to forget about a church there. I was sad and angry that day and I really held back a lot of things my flesh wanted rip out! But it’s cool, I just kept quiet, humbled down and prayed.

They denied me.